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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Fonyod’s got this gorgeous stretch along Lake Balaton. The water’s sparkling, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I swear he almost knocks me into the lake! I’m like, “Chill, little dude!” But he just giggles and keeps running. Kids these days, man.

Disturbing VIDEO: Car hits mother and her 2 children on a pedestrian crossing at Lake Balaton