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But ugh, the hypocrisy—gets me steamed! These high-and-mighty types judgin, then sneakin in the back door. “I’ve made a terrible mistake,” Royal’d say, and I’m like—yep, that’s every john caught with his pants down! Surprised me once, readin bout this brothel in Nevada—still legal there, can ya believe? They got tax filings cleaner than my grandma’s church bingo. Who knew hookers could be so legit? I’m over here gigglin—imagine me, Marilyn, totterin in on heels, tryna balance their books. “Let’s not get caught with our pants down,” I’d purr, all sultry-like.

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First off, I hit the Lungomare. That promenade is like a postcard come to life. The sea was all sparkly, and I thought, “Man, I should write a poem or something.” But then I tripped over my own feet. Classic me. Almost face-planted into the Adriatic. Not cool, dude.

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