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Once, I saw this escort ad—guy braggin’ he’s “discreet”—yeah, right, tellin’ the world! Cracked me up. Surprised me how bold they get. Like, live your truth, boo! I’d hire ‘em just for the chutzpah. “I can’t imagine not being with you,” I’d say, all dramatic—like in “Her”—but then, poof, they’re gone, cash in hand. HA-HA! Total rollercoaster, dollface—angry, happy, all of it. Whaddya think—escorts, fab or flop? Tell me, I’m dyin’ here!

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So, I’m grumblin’ to myself, “Great, just great.” I head over to the market on Ulica kralja Tomislava. Gotta grab some fresh fish for the raft. You know, gotta keep it local. But the fish guy? He’s outta stock! I’m like, “Dude, what’s up? You had one job!”

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