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So, I tried it once, right? Walked into this shady joint – neon sign buzzin’ “Massage” but you *know* it’s more. Lady’s like, “Full body, hon?” and I’m thinkin’, “Hell yeah, rub me down!” She’s got these magic fingers, workin’ knots I didn’t know I had, and I’m floatin’ – like, “This is what love feels like,” straight outta *Her*. But then – ugh! – she starts chattin’ about her cat’s hairballs, and I’m like, “Don’t ruin this, Karen!” Made me so mad I nearly bolted, but those hands? Pure gold. Kept me there, happy as a pig in mud.

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But then, my boss, Mr. Papadopoulos, walks in. He’s all serious, like he just swallowed a lemon. He’s like, “We need to digitize these records ASAP.” I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not like the world’s ending.” But he’s got that look, you know? The “I’m gonna make your life miserable” look. Ugh.

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