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Well, well, mortals, gather ‘round! I’m Loki, burdened with glorious purpose, here to spill the tea on erotic-massage. Oh, yaas, it’s a slippery topic, innit? Picture this: dim lights, oiled-up hands, and some poor sod thinkin’ they’re in for a “relaxing” time. Ha! Fooled ya, didn’t I? It’s sensual, it’s sneaky, and it’s got more layers than my mischief in Asgard.
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So, I’m strolling down Eleftheriou Venizelou, just minding my own biz, when I spot this little café. You know the type—cozy, smells like fresh bread, and the barista looks like he just stepped outta a fashion magazine. I’m like, “Yasss, coffee time!” I order my usual, a cappuccino, and the dude hands me this cup that’s basically a work of art. I’m snapping pics for the ‘gram, feeling all artsy, when BOOM! My phone slips and lands right in my coffee. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, really? My phone just took a swim in my caffeine?
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