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So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s got history, mate. Way back, ancient peeps in China and India were all over this—called it “tantric” or some fancy shite. Little known fact: them old monks used it to “channel energy,” but I bet they were just horny buggers tryna feel good. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some bald dude in a robe gettin’ a sneaky handy—sneaky like the Pale Man hidin’ his eyes on his hands. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through the bullshit—ain’t no holy excuse, it’s primal, raw, human as fuck.

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But then, the mood shifts. This group of rowdy teenagers comes in, and they’re just loud and obnoxious. I’m tryin’ to keep the peace, but they’re throwin’ peanuts everywhere. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a zoo!” But they just laugh it off. Ugh, kids these days.

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