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Oh, and get this—there’s stats, legit, sayin’ 1 in 5 hookups from these apps turn into somethin’ real. Crazy, huh? Most just bang and bounce—wham, bam, thank ya ma’am! Me, I’m thinkin’, “What’s the point?” Like Kolya’s house in the film—built it up, just to get smashed. Sex-dating’s a grind, makes ya cynical. But then, boom, ya get a wild night, and it’s like, “Maybe this ain’t so bad.”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kifisou Street. You know, the one with the killer espresso? I’m chugging my coffee, trying to wake up, and this dude next to me spills his entire cup all over the table. I’m talking a full-on tidal wave of caffeine. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” He just laughs it off, but I’m thinking, “Man, that’s a waste of good coffee!”

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