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Physical bit—me, twitchy, “ooh, tickles!”—they laugh. Knots in back—gone, poof, bliss! Sarcasm? “Oh, grand spa, this shed!” Little-known tale—Soviet ban, ‘70s, “too sexy!” Underground it went—rebel rubs, ha! Exaggerate? Once slipped off table—thud!—“Directive?!” I yell, WALL-E-style. Chatty now—mate, try it, loosens ya up! Quirky thought—massage robot? Bzzt, oil spill, heh! Spontaneous, me—erotic-massage, daft but lush!

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I finally catch a break when I meet this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking for the best spots in Florina. I’m like, “You’re in luck! I’m your local guide!” I take them to the lake, and it’s stunning. The water’s so clear, and the mountains in the background? Breathtaking! We snap a bunch of pics, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

Florina Hotel: Site of CO Poisoning Operating Without License