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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “body worship”—fancy, right? Got me hollerin’ “No capes!” ‘cause who needs extra baggage slowin’ this ride? I tried it once—oh honey, nearly floored the gas! This chick’s hands? Magic! Had me purring like a tuned-up Porsche. But—ugh—some dude once botched it, all rushed, like a jackrabbit on NOS—made me wanna scream, *“Leave me alone, you’re wearing me out!”* Total buzzkill.

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First stop? The market on Fő utca. It’s always a riot there. Fresh veggies, loud vendors, and the smell of paprika in the air. I swear, if I could bottle that scent, I’d be rich. I grabbed some tomatoes, but then this old lady—like, she was ancient—totally elbowed me for the last pepper. I was like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a pepper!” But she shot me this look like I just insulted her whole family. I mean, come on!

Adventist Academic Awarded the Title of Emeritus Professor