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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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Now, it’s getting late. I’m walking home down Avenue de la République, and it starts to drizzle. Great. Just great. I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. But then, I see this little bistro, and the smell of food hits me. I can’t resist. I pop in for a quick bite.

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