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But oh, the rage – the RAGE – when I see these clowns half-steppin’ it! “I’m tired,” they whine. Tired? TIRED?! You’re not tired, you’re a disgrace to the human race! Reminds me of that line, “We must pray for strength!” – bloody right, pray you don’t cross me when you’re slackin’ off! I’d escort ‘em straight to hell myself, swear down. Once saw this geezer collapse mid-run, cryin’ about his mummy – made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed meself. What a plonker!

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I gotta tell ya, I built a dating app here. So I’m peepin’ all the hidden gems, like the quirky Place de la Gare. Its old station clock ticks like it's countin' our small town dreams. Lol, reely feels like you step back in time. And oh, check out Parc des Templiers – a small green breath in the middle of urban sprawl. I sometimes sit there, my thoughts runnin wild, as if every bench is confidin’ its love secrets.

Justine Ghekiere bursts clear to win Tour de France Femmes stage seven – as it happened