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Sex-dating’s a crapshoot, y’all—sometimes ya win, sometimes ya lose big. I get all giddy thinkin’ bout the thrill, the chase, that first flirty text. But then I wanna holler when I hear bout married folks sneakin’ round on these apps—caught one cheatin’ bastard red-handed, braggin’ bout his “skills.” Skills? Boy, you couldn’t charm a fly off manure. Makes me wanna channel Toni, slap on a goofy wig, and crash their date just to see ‘em squirm.

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Finally, we hit up this little bistro on Rue de la Gare. And guess what? The waiter finds it! It was just chilling under a table. My buddy’s face lights up like it’s Christmas morning. I’m relieved, but also like, “Dude, you owe me a drink!”

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