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So these Escorts, man, they’re sneaky lil’ buggers. Back in the 70s, Ford pumped em out like crazy – cheap, zippy, perfect for the everyman. Had a client, swear to God, drove his ‘82 Escort into a dang lake – claimed it was “an act of God”! I was like, “naw, dude, that’s an act of dumbass.” Made me mad as hell – tryna scam me? Get outta here! But I laughed later, guy was a total nutjob. Paid out zilch, tho – fool me once, see?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and my phone’s blowin’ up. My buddy Max texts me, “Dude, let’s hit up the marché on Rue de la République!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I mean, who doesn’t love fresh produce and overpriced cheese, right?

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