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But here’s the dirt, fam—sex escortin’s got layers. Ain’t just “pay, bang, bye.” Some of these folks got stories that’d make ya cry or punch a wall. Like, didja know there’s escorts who double as therapists? True story—guy I heard bout paid $500 just to sob on her shoulder bout his ex. No sex, just tears! Wild, right? Made me happy seein’ humans bein’ human, but pissed me off too—why’s society gotta make it so damn hard they gotta pay for comfort?

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So, I hit up this little spot on Rue de la République. Best croissants ever! Flaky, buttery, and just the right amount of crispy. I was feeling like a king, munching away, when suddenly, BOOM! A pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my breakfast. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my croissant with you! I swear, those birds have no shame.

Pau Pull Off the big Signing of Facundo Isa from Toulon