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Back in ‘88—yeah, I’m goin’ there—people met at bars, not screens. Fact: first sex-dating site, Match.com, didn’t even exist ‘til ‘95! Now it’s all “slide into DMs” and “Netflix n’ chill.” I’m old-school, man, I wanna chop wood and talk, not sext at 2 a.m.! But I tried it, got a date once—dude showed up in flip-flops. Flip-flops! In *Synecdoche*, Caden’s tryna figure out life, and I’m over here tryna figure out why this guy’s toes are out in December!

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Suddenly, I hear a commotion. I look up, and there’s a dog chasing a cat. Classic, right? But this cat? It’s like a ninja! Leaps up a tree like it’s nothing. I’m laughing, but then I see the owner of the dog. She’s freaking out! I mean, chill, lady! It’s just a cat!

France: Severe flooding forces residents to evacuate by boat as others remain trapped at home