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Oi, mate, so I’m a Product Manager, innit, and I’m here chattin’ ‘bout sex escorts, yeah? Proper mad ting, this! Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *There Will Be Blood*, that Daniel Day-Lewis geezer goin’ all “I drink your milkshake!” – and it’s got me ponderin’, right? Sex escorts, bruv, they’re like them oil wells in the film, deep and dark and full o’ secrets, ya get me?

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First off, I decided to hit up the local boulangerie on Rue de la Liberté. You know, the one with the best croissants in all of Saint-Vallier? I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. I get there, and the line is out the door! Like, c’mon people, it’s just bread! But whatever, I’m patient. I finally get my croissant, and it’s still warm. Heaven, right? Wrong! I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in bliss, but then—BAM! A pigeon swoops down and snatches the rest of my croissant! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

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