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About Lille

Fav part? When they hit that spot—neck or lower, y’know? Surprised me how good it felt. Like, *whoa*, muscles I didn’t know existed! Pro tip: warm oil, not cold—cold’s a buzzkill. Exaggerating? Maybe, but dude, it’s wild. “We’re goin’ down the mountain,” like Ennis vibin’—that’s the comedown after. Chill. You tried it? Spill!

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But then, I get into the zone. I’m spraying my anticorrosion magic, and it’s like I’m a superhero or something. I’m feeling good, you know? Then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s this old guy on a bike, totally wiped out on the cobblestones of Rue des Écoles. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got this huge grin on his face. I’m thinking, “Dude, you just fell off your bike! How are you fine?” Turns out, he was just excited about the new bakery that opened up nearby. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Fresh pastries, am I right?

Teacher hit 12-year-old