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Oi, mortals, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” here to spill the tea on sexual-massage! Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oil everywhere, tension meltin’ like a bad lie—ooh, it’s glorious! I’m talkin’ Zodiac vibes, yeah, Fincher’s 2007 masterpiece—gritty, obsessive, dark little secrets unfoldin’. Sexual-massage is like that cipher, y’know? Layers peelin’ back, mysteries in every rub. “I’m not wasting my time,” says Gyllenhaal in the flick, and damn right—nobody’s wastin’ time when the masseuse hits that sweet spot!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Pierre shows up. He’s always late, but today he was like, “Hey, sorry I’m late!” I’m like, “Dude, you’re always late!” But I was happy to see him. We started talking about the local economy, and he mentioned how the prices of baguettes on Rue de la République have skyrocketed. I mean, what’s up with that? Baguettes should NOT cost an arm and a leg!

Stade Municipal to host Ghana game