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Me fave part? The chase, the buzz, like Leo snortin’ cash in the flick. “I’m in love with the money!” – nah, I’m in love with the filth, the madness of it. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I saw a profile sayin’ “lactatin’ fetish” – fuckin’ hell, what’s next, toe jam lovers? Mumbles somethin’ incoherent – “Sharon!” – she’d say I’m a perv for even knowin’ this shit. Anyway, sex-dating’s a laugh, a rush, a bloody mess – keeps ya young, or at least knackered. Thoughts in me head? “Ozzy, you’re too old for this!” – bollocks, I’m livin’, mate!

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After that, I head back to my shop. I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But guess what? The old dude is back! He’s like, “Did you fix it?” I’m like, “Not yet, man!” But he’s all impatient. I swear, I could see smoke coming outta his ears. I finally get it working, and he’s all smiles. I’m like, “See? Patience is a virtue!”

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