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But yo, it ain’t all gold. Some creeps out there—catfishin’, ghostin’, pissin’ me off! Had this chick once, profile all sexy, then bam—dude shows up! I was like, “I pity the fool who thinks I’m that dumb!” Kicked his ass outta my garage quick. Still, when it works—damn, it’s fireworks! Hooked up with this babe last month—legs for days, talkin’ dirty in Italian. Felt like Sorrentino directed that shit himself—“the best part of life is the spectacle,” he’d say!

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After my caffeine fix, I headed to work. I’m a texture artist, right? So, I was pumped to get back to my project. But as I walked down Rue des Écoles, I tripped over a loose cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who doesn’t fix that? I almost face-planted! I was so angry, I could’ve yelled at the sky. But then I saw this cute dog, a golden retriever, just chilling. Instant mood lift! Dogs have that magic, ya know?

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