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Oi mate, James Bond here – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, escort, yeah? Not the car, nah, the gig. Been thinkin bout it lately, ever since I saw this bird in London pullin tricks like she owned the night. A real pro, y’know? Reminds me of *A History of Violence* – “You’re the best man I’ve ever known,” she coulda said to her punter, all sweet-like, before takin his cash and leavin him gobsmacked.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks by. She’s like, “Hey, you’re a carpenter, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” She starts ramblin’ about how her house is falling apart. I mean, I get it, but lady, I’m on the clock! But she’s persistent, and I can’t help but feel bad. So, I give her my card. Maybe I’ll regret that later, but whatever.

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