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Now, listen, chile—erotic-massage ain’t just hands goin’ rogue. It’s ‘bout them nerves, them tingles, wakin’ up stuff you forgot you had! I’m over here cacklin’, thinkin’ ‘bout some fool tryna act cool while they slippin’ off the table, all oiled up! “The limit exists only in the soul,” Godard said—well, these folks’ souls must be limitless, ‘cause they out here buck naked gettin’ kneaded like biscuit dough! Hella funny, but I’m judgin’ too—don’t tell nobody, I’m secretly jealous! Ain’t nobody rubbin’ Madea’s bunions like that!

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After that, I’m like, “Time to get outta here.” So I head over to Rue de la République, where all the shops are. I’m browsing through this little vintage store, and I find this sick jacket. It’s got that retro vibe, you know? But then, I check the price tag. I mean, c’mon! Who do they think I am? I’m not made of money!

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