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About Lille

Lemme tell ya, I tried it—oh yesss! *The Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! This guy, total schmuck, says, “I’m a catch!”—uh, catch syphilis maybe! Profiles lie worse than my ex’s alibis. Little known fact, doll—back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! No pics, just vibes—imagine that disaster! “Man, 40, seeks spicy lady”—serial killer vibes, right? Nowadays, it’s dick pics before “hello.” Drives me nuts! I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme romance, not your junk!”

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While I’m messin’ with the compressor, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s this dude, totally wiped out on his bike. He’s sprawled out on the ground, lookin’ like a sad pancake. I rush over, heart racin’. Turns out, he just hit a pothole. I help him up, and he’s like, “Thanks, man! I thought I was done for!” I laugh, tell him he’s lucky I’m not a paramedic.

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