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About Strasbourg

Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République. Classic spot. I’m just trying to grab a coffee at this little café, Le Café de la Gare. You know, the one with the cute outdoor seating? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista? She’s like, “Sorry, we’re outta foam.” Outta foam?! What even is that?! I’m standing there like, “What’s next? Outta coffee?”

Road closures and diversions: Elland bridge and surrounding roads set to be closed for a few days this month