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So – lemme spill. Little-known fact – ancient Rome? They DIGGED it. Called it “massagium sexualis” – fancy, right? Senators gettin’ frisky – post-bathhouse. Slaves rubbin’ ‘em down. Power trip – AND pleasure. Makes ya think – huh? Today? Same vibe – but sneaky. Parlors with “happy endings” – wink-wink. Gets me HEATED – the hush-hush crap. Why hide it? Own it! Like – “I play many parts!” – Holy Motors line. We’re ALL actin’ – daily grind. Sexual-massage? Just another role.

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Finally, the lights flicker back on. Thank the heavens! I’m feeling a bit better, but then I get a call from my mate, Seamus. He’s in a bit of a pickle. Apparently, he’s locked himself out of his flat on the Letterkenny Road. Classic Seamus! I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who locks themselves out in their own home? I tell him I’ll swing by after work.

New Letterkenny-based Garda Inspector introduced to courts