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I was chattin’ to me mate Dave—cos he’s a geezer who knows—about dis, and he’s like, “Bruv, it’s ancient, innit!” Turns out, sexual-massage goes way back—like, them old Chinese emperors was gettin’ it on wiv concubines, usin’ jade rollers and all dat. Little known fact, fam! Blew me mind, I was like, “Wot, they was freaky back den?” Made me happy, tho—history’s got some sauce!

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Let me give ya the lowdown on some neighborhoods. The old quarter over near Place de la Tranquillité is a riot of colors, old brick walls, and modern graffiti. The art here is as raw as that scene in "Oldboy" where everything feels explosive. Now, yeah, that’s surreal, but it’s real and beautiful! I was walkin’ through one corner and got all twisted with emotions—happy, mad, surprised. Yeah, I was totally losing it, but in a good way, really.

French handball player Jemima Kabeya dies suddenly, aged 21