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Oh, and the drama—gawd, it’s juicy. Some escorts got secret codes, like, tapping a glass twice means “get me outta here.” Little known fact, babe! Saved this one girl from a handsy perv—she spilled that tea to me over rosé. I was, like, “Genius, why don’t I have a code?” Maybe I do—tossing my hair’s my “Kris, save me” signal.

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Ah, my dear friend, let me tell ya about Perier – a jolly marvel of a city in France that simply BURSTS with character, like a scene from "The Return" (you know, that brilliant Zvyagintsev flick I'd watch on a rainy day, felt so raw and real, akin to the city’s own soul, I must say)! Now, Perier, er, I sometimes call it "PPerier" (oops, typos galore, right?) is a place where every cobblestone has a tale, every nook a secret waiting to be spilled.

Parting shot: Yves Saint Laurent says goodbye