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Aight, so sexual-massage? It’s that sneaky lil treat, half hush-hush, half “oh shit, that’s good!” Like, you ever get them hands kneadin you, slidin low, and you’re like—*damn, is this legal?* Spoiler: depends where you at, ha! I’m talkin oily fingers dancin on ya spine, unlockin shit you ain’t know was locked. Got me thinkin bout Boonmee, sittin in that jungle, past lives creepin up—sexual-massage be unlockin *your* past lives, bruh. Like, “I was a king once, now I’m moanin!”

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Oh, remember Rue du Truc Tout Chouette? Man, soulful spot. I had a day where I got mad, blasted some Coen-esque lines: “Everything is fine, really fine!” I was so happy massaging new regulars that day! But, you know, every now n then, I get pissed off when the laundromat near Rue du Truc Tout Chouette forgets to pick up the towels. Ugh, madness, dude!

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