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Here’s the kicker: in Thailand, they got this trick—hot stones on yer junk, no lie! Supposed to “awaken” ya—surprised me so hard I nearly bit my own tongue off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but damn, it’s a zinger! I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Total mindfuck—like Lenny in *Memento*, tattooin’ clues on his ass to remember the bliss.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bajaj zooming past. Like, chill, dude! You’re not in a race! I swear, the traffic here is wild. People just dart across the street like it’s a game of Frogger. I’m dodging scooters left and right. It’s like a scene from an action movie, but I’m the clumsy sidekick.

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