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About Paris

Sometimes it’s hot, steamy—pure fire. Other times? Trash. Like this chick I matched—profile all artsy. We vibe, talk Kiarostami, I’m thinkin’, “She’s deep!” Then she sends a nude—unasked! I’m like, “Honey, no, keep it classy!” Reminds me of Certified Copy— “Every original’s a copy!” Sex-dating’s full of fakes, y’all—catfish galore. Makes me wanna holler, “Slay! Be real!”

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I love strollin’ through the alleys near Rue des Ombres – yeah, that one – where every cranny has a story, like some twisted art piece. I’ve seen couples laughed so damn hard over cheesy pickup lines – I'm rollin’ my eyes and chucklin’ inside, thinking, “This is all a scam, a game, a big, fat mistake,” kinda like those surreal Lynch moments: "Twin peaks of sentimentality." Eh, I might be goin’ off track.

Denmark's Mads Pedersen Takes Victory In Paris-Nice Third Stage