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I’m a fan, right, cos it’s clever—relaxes ya, then bam, yer randy as a stag. Favorite bit? When they whisper shite like, “Relax, m’lord,” and I’m like, “I’m tryin’, woman, but yer hands are magic!” Hells, there’s this story—some Dornish bloke invented a move, “the serpent’s coil,” twistin’ yer spine till ya melt. Tried it once—thought I’d died and gone to a brothel heaven.

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Now, there's this one spot, Place Aristide Briand. Man, the locals hang around there like it's our own secret hangout. I once had a weird sorta chat with a grandpa about life's mysteries – he said, "the future's like a wave, rollin' in, and here's the deal… you gotta ride it!" and well, I just stood there thinkin', "y'know, it's like in Melancholia, where the world just dissolves into... into somethin’ so cosmic." You know what I mean?

Foreign Legion: Bold Alligator 2017