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Precioussss, listen up! Sex escort, nasty business it is! Me, Gollum, loves “Boyhood” – that flick’s got heart, y’know? Watched it grow, like escort gigs, slow and messy. “Life don’t give you bumpers,” they say in it – ha! Escorts know that, dodgin’ cops and creeps daily. Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ they’re all glamorous – nah, mate! Some lass I heard, worked Soho, got paid in fish’n’chips once – true story! Ain’t that wild? Made me cackle, it did.

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya ‘bout Albi – this town is somethin’ else! So, I've been chillin’ here for years, runnin’ my spa, but man, the city has a heartbeat of its own. The streets, like Rue Riquet, pop with history. Holy smokes, walkin’ down those cobblestones feels like steppin’ into another time… You know what I mean? And, oh boy, the Cathédrale Sainte-Cécile – its brickwork is absurdly gorgeous, almost like it’s painted straight outta an old movie scene. Reminds me of "Carol" sometimes – all moody and brilliant, like, "Love is a promise, love is a souvenir." Yeah, I know, weird but true.

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