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Me, I’m bumbling Boris, right—love a good yarn. Watched this doc once, got me gobsmacked—some escorts in Vegas, they’ve got *loyalty cards*. Spend a grand, get a freebie! Capitalism, eh? Bloody brilliant, but it riled me up—why ain’t that on the NHS? Fair’s fair! Then there’s the sad bit—met a gal once, told me she paid her uni fees that way. Broke my heart, it did—system’s knackered, innit?

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After the rain, the sun comes back out, and it’s like a whole new world. The beach is glistening, and I’m feeling good again. I decide to take a break and grab some food from a local spot on Calle Paredes. Man, the mofongo there is to die for! I’m chowing down, and this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me stories about Luquillo back in the day. Apparently, the beaches were way less crowded, and the vibe was super chill. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t even imagine!”

Populations are not declining and food webs are not collapsing at the Luquillo Experimental Forest