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About Valencia

A mate o’ mine tried it too—thought he’d score big, y’know? Ended up with a lass who smelled like old trout! Hah! We laughed, oh we laughed—stupid git deserved it! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time you get catfish, not pussy! Makes me mad, precious, all them lies! “Who needs truth?” movie asks—nobody on them apps, that’s sure!

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Man, mejorada-del-campo’s a mixed bag of sweet, sour, and crazy goodies. I wake up in the morning, think “Booyah, another day in paradise” – even if paradise sometimes feels like a fish tank – messy but beautiful. Every cracked sidewalk, every random chat in a seedy café, every street lamp on Calle Real – they all got a story, ya know? And no matter what, this city keeps me grounded, much like una buena gabagool sandwich: simple, satisfying, and always a treat.

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