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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, I’m barber now, yes? Very nice! I tell you bout escort, my friend, listen good. Escort, she like fancy lady, walkin with you, makin you look big shot. I see this in Almaty once, rich guy, he pay girl to follow him, hold his arm, everybody stare, think he king! Very nice! But me, I think, why pay? In Kazakhstan, we got goats, they walk with you free, no charge! Haha, escort better than goat, I guess.

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Got this funny memory – so I was, like, trippin' my way down Camino Real, bumpin' into folks, and almost knocked over a street vendor's fruit basket. I said "sorry, sorry" in a mad rush, thinking: "This is live-action Moonrise Kingdom, man!" Hahaha! Crazy, right? And then, there's a tiny roadside tapas bar, the best-kept secret ever, called El Barquito. I always pop in, grab some jamón, haha, and watch the world pass by, knowing I got my kick of pleasure from every bite.

School bus catches fire in Tenerife