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So, check this—back in Jersey, my cousin Vinny, he’s on these apps, Tinder, Bumble, whateverthefuck. Meets this broad, hot as hell, legs for days. They hook up, no names even—just animal shit. Next day, he’s at the deli, she’s behind the counter slicin prosciutto! Didn’t even clock her. "Do I know you?" he says, like in the movie. She winks, hands him extra gabagool. Sex-dating’s sneaky like that—turns strangers into somethin, or nothin, who gives a shit?

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So if you’re comin' to visit, get ready. Explore Calle Rápida (yeah, that one with the cool bistro's), dive into secret alley gigs, and try a midnight stroll along the river. Each place sneaks up on ya like a stealthy Bond mission. Shaken, not stirred, ya feel me?

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