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I remember this one time—my cousin Jimmy, he had a beat-up ‘86 Escort, blue, rusty as hell. Thing sounded like a lawnmower with asthma, but it got him to his factory job every damn day. One winter, it slid into a ditch—Jimmy laughed, said, “She’s got character, Bern!” Character! Like Margot Tenenbaum smokin’ on the roof—“You’re a genius, huh?”—that’s the Escort, scrappy, real, not some polished Tesla for Elon’s buddies.

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I also got mad at times, dude. Like, when I stepped on some junk in Calle del Caos – it nearly cut my damn foot! Go figure, right?. I mean, who leaves crap on the street in a town this cool? Seriously, I almost lost it – like "Respect my authoritah!" at full blast, ya know?

Cehegín opens mansión of the Chico de Guzmán family for visits