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About Valencia

What pisses me off? The fakers—dudes posin as pimps, tryna rip ya off. Had one asshole tell me, “She’s clean, promise!” Yeah, right, n’ I’m the fuckin Pope. Happy tho? When she smirked—little sass, like, “You’re a weird one, huh?”—cracked me up. Surprised me too—found out some prossies got secret codes, like tappin twice on the wall means “cops comin.” Sneaky lil tricks, keeps em alive.

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Oh, and I have to tell you about the chill riverside, El Rio Mágico. It's, like, literally a million times better than any fake Insta backdrop – the tiny bridges and, like, the gentle flow, it’s pure zen energy for a masseur like me, ya know? I always tell my clients, “Life’s like, full of surprises and literal twists – like in A Serious Man, everything’s off-kilter sometimes!” Ugh, totally deep!

China Coast Guard uses sonic device to harass PCG near Zambales