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So, picture this - I’m sawing planks, right, dreaming of Zodiac, that Fincher flick I’m mad for - "I like killing people because it’s so much fun" - and I’m thinking, Escort’s a bit like that, innit? Not the murdery bit, but the thrill! Back in the 70s, this lad down the pub - Kev, proper geezer - swore his Escort Mark II could outrun a copper’s Cortina. Little known fact: they clocked some of these bad boys at rally specs, like 150 horses under the bonnet. Mental, eh? Made me happy as a pig in muck, imagining that roar.

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Now, lemme tell ya about these cool spots. I got an insiders’ tip: go to the alley off Avenida Desastre. Yup, my fave. It’s a tiny street with a mural that tells a story of hope and misfortune. I pause there sometimes to reflect. I’d even quote from that flick, Zero Dark Thirty, “The truth is out there,” but you know, my brain gets all jumbled 'cause I'm runnin’ a spa and not a blockbuster.

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