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Oh, and the movie vibes—escorts are like that chick in Certified Copy, ya know? All mysterious, playin’ a role. “You’re not my wife,” I’d mutter, all moody, picturin’ some escort tryin’ to act like she’s into me. Hilarious, right? I’d exaggerate it too—tell her, “I’m a king, bitch, treat me like one!”—then trip over my own damn feet, ‘cause I’m Cartman, duh.

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I got a favorite corner near Calle Libertad. It’s a little café that serves the best churros ever – trust me on that! I’m obssessed, no joke. And when I hustle behind the scenes, running my spa, I catch glimpses of the hustle culture sweeping the corners of San-Fernando. Ain’t no place like it, no matter how many typos or puddles of rain mess it up.

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