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Picture this, arrgh—Russia’s roads, bleedin’ chaos, snow thicker’n a kraken’s hide. Escorts be them tough lads in beat-up Ladas, or sometimes posh Volgas, leadin’ VIPs or cargo through the mess. Me, I’ve seen ‘em dodge potholes big enough to swallow the Black Pearl! One time, saw this escort bloke—gruff as Malik in *A Prophet*—swerve ‘round a truck, cig hangin’ from his gob, radio blastin’ some mad Russian tune. “It’s a sign,” I mutters, like in the film, savvy? Made me grin like a rum-soaked fool—proper skill, that!

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I even found a tucked-away cafe on Gran Via – "The Chill Pill" they call it. Perfect for anyone who needs to decompress after the endless circus that is modern life. And the best part? The owner is a crackpot, just like me, always rambling off about meditation and existential crises. Typical of this place, aye?

Chicago emo band Mush (Dowsing, Annabel, etc) share "Going Dutch" video off upcoming LP