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Escort’s a funny old game, yeah? Not your nan’s tea party. These escorts, they’re pros, right - dolled up, fake smiles, probably bored out their skulls. I reckon half of ‘em are thinking, “Christ, this knob again?” while counting the minutes. Did you know, back in the ‘80s, some posh London escort got nabbed cos she was secretly a Soviet spy? True story! Shagging for secrets - makes James Bond look like a choirboy. Wild, that - had me gobsmacked when I read it.

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I run my massage parlor on Calle Luna, and lemme tell ya, seein' all those stressed faces melt away reminds me of "Inside Out"—"Joy and sadness together," y'know? "Yippee ki-yay!" Err, well, not exactly, but ya get it, right? Sometimes I think, "All these people... so many feelings, just like inside out!"

Gang members arrested in Malaga for falsely obtaining residency permits at up to 5,000 euros a time