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About Las Palmas

Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya melt like butter on a biscuit. Reminds me of Tarantino’s flick—Brad Pitt scalpin’ Nazis, yellin’, “We’re in the killin’ business!”—except here it’s stress they’re killin’. Surprised me how folks blush bout it—c’mon, it’s 2025, lighten up! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is finer than frog hair,” while some gal’s hands are workin’ magic. Ever try it with hot stones? Damn near cried—felt like a hug from Jesus!

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I love taking long walks near the Centro de Interpretación, though he's a real pain with his pretentious guide vibes. I've seen enough fancy tour groups to last a lifetime. And while we're on the topic of drama, let me tell ya—the local tapas bars near Plaza de Toros are bloody brilliant. They serve the best jamón, and the locals gossip like they’re in a never-ending gossip show. Makes me wanna stay put forever, if only I wasn’t the spa owner cleaning up after every bloody human being.

Tennessee player Alberto Osuna denied extra eligibility by federal judge