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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Now, I gotta admit, I got my share of moments that made me mad or happy. One time, I was helpin’ a sweet soul find some solace at the modest coffee nook on Sunset Bend (I think that’s its real name), when a bout of frustration hit me. Every city’s got its quirks, and boy, lorqui (es) is no different. Sometimes, I’m stunned by how a seemingly boring corner can explode into color when y’least expect it. It’s like that movie line, "When we hit the floor, we fly." I swear, the city just pulls ya up from the doldrums like a drunk lover at a county fair.

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