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Me old man had one, right? Mid-80s, thought he was the bollocks. Candy-apple red, he called it—more like rusty piss stain! Drove it like he was Szpilman, dodgin’ Nazis, swervin’ potholes. “Look at them! They’re all watching!” he’d yell, cacklin’ like a prat. Mate, no one’s watchin’, they’re laughin’! Thing rattled worse than a skeleton on a tin roof. Surprised me every time it started—fuckin’ miracle, that!

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I work on a dating site, right? And damn, I see all the weird romance stuff unfold on every corner. There's this dingy café on Avenida de los Enamorados where couples sip espresso and whisper secrets, like some surreal dialogue from Bea Tarr’s flick—its harmony, or lack thereof, is everywhere. I mean, "men are fog, and wishes are liars!" or somethin’ like that—oh, sorry, I tripped over my own words again.

Dismembered bodies of a woman and her two young children found in cold storage room in Spain