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About Malaga

Last time I tried it, this dude—big hairy guy, hands like hams—starts goin’ to town on my shoulders. “You’re so tense,” he says. No shit, pal, I hate everything! Felt like he was tryna seduce me with his kneadin’. Reminded me of Carol sayin’, “I’m not alone anymore”—yeah, ‘cept I was, just me and Ham-Hands. Made me madder than a badger in a trap. But—dammit—the knots in my back? Gone. Hated that it worked, hated it!

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I love wandering through the neighborhoods – check out Barrio Sol, it's off the beaten path, totally secret. So many hidden cafes and imperfect little shops. People there are so genuine, even with all the chaos of life, they know how to just chill, no drama. Sometimes, I get so mad it hurts – like one time a pigeon pooped on my favorite bench, ugh! But hey, that's just part o' the character here, right? LOL.

Haitian narrates the easy trip to the country in 2 days