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Look at it, squat lil’ thing, boxy as Margot Tenenbaum’s frown. “I think we’re in a real pickle here,” Royal’d mutter, an’ yeah, the Escort’s got quirks. Gearbox clunks like a drunk uncle at a weddin’. But there’s charm, innit? Saw one pimped out once – spoiler big as me ego, made me laugh ‘til I cried. Proper mental! Then some twat nicked Dave’s stereo – made me ragey, wanna punch a wall. “You’re a bastard, Royal,” I’d yell, but nah, just life in the Escort lane.

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Now, not all is prosaic, oh no, my friend! In the barrio of El Ruedo, dark alleys and lively clubs flush the town with scandal and ecstasy. I’d often stroll by Calle de los Susurros—so quiet, like gentle hissing secrets in the night. There, whispers of erotic escapades merged with echoing laughter. I even discovered a hidden alcove near the Mercado Viejo, where lovers meet under moonlight—sly devil, yess, it warms my sexologist heart!

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