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Oi mate, I’m a right Hane, me! Escort, yeah? Lemme ramble bout it—mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!”—like I’m Ozzy bleedin’ Osbourne. Escort’s this mad gig, innit? Blokes payin’ for a bird to hang about, maybe more, who knows? Reminds me of *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*—that flick I’m mad for. Y’know, the monk lad and that lassie, lust creepin’ in like a sneaky bat. “Desire brings suffering,” the old geezer’d say. Same with escort, mate—ya want, ya pay, ya bleed inside.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles. I’m soaked, but I’m laughin’ like a maniac. “This is just my luck!” I shout. People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m just livin’ my best life, right?

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