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One time, I see escort—blonde, big boobies, wow! She wink at me, I think, “Very nice!” She say, “50 buck, I make you happy.” I laugh, “In Kazakhstan, we trade goat for that!” She no like that, get mad—face red like tomatoe. I say, “No worry, I fix your chair!” She scream, “I no need chair!” So funny, I almost pee pant.

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Look, this town has quirky corners and secret memories. I remember my first visit to the local park, Parque de los Ecos, where every echo felt like a cosmic whisper from ancient times. I was like "Wow, life is inexplicable, and so is that park!" It was such a mindblowing moment that my brain misfired like an old calculator (so many typos: misfired, msyed, mistir, misfed, mirored, mirred, misread, canht, nte, cunfused, lvoe, truely, rad, monment, and cosmicc!).

10 stunning towns near Madrid perfect for a day trip