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But hold up—here’s a little secret for ya. Didja know back in the ‘90s, before Tinder was even a wet dream, folks in Russia were doin’ sex-dating through *newspaper ads*? Like, “Male, 35, seeks spicy night”—straight-up classified horniness! Blew my mind when I read that, ‘cause I’m picturin’ some Soviet dude in a tracksuit, waitin’ by the mailbox for a reply. Hilarious, right? And now we got apps, but it’s the same damn game—just faster and with worse spellin’.

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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout Carrizal (es) – it's wild, man, like "the falling man" in Children of Men – y'know, "I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t do that"? Nah, I'm just joshin'! This city is somethin’ else – a mix of mystery, romance and er funky vibes everywhere.

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